Ten Things I Hate About Bush

Ten Things I Hate About Bush
Published: Monday, September 20, 2004
By Alfonso Vistoso, Queens College Knight News

How do I hate thee let me count the ways... It seems that writing this column would be easy after all, what isn't there to hate about our appointed leader? But, my dear reader, it is much much harder than you would think. For instance where do I start? Do I go with the obvious hatreds, or do I explore more deeply what it is about the man that makes so many of us hate him so. I've decided one column would not do my hatred justice therefore I will be writing a weekly list of the things that make the W so hated.
This week I'll begin with the man himself as a person, as a so-called fellow human. Columns to follow will include: W on the environment, politically, militarily and a host of other reasons. If you dear reader have something you want included on a list send it to me and I will try to include it in upcoming article. Here we go:
1. English is his second language. If you have heard him speak you will know that his command of the English language can only be described as colorful.
2. Talks the talk, but can't walk the walk. Our commander in thief, I mean chief is very willing to talk tough and act like a bad ass. But, as we all know, this stay at home GI did not only sit out his turn to defend the nation (although the merits of fighting in Vietnam make it hard to fault anyone for skipping out on it) he also managed to be a deserter on top of it.
3. He is an unrepentant liar. If we had a nickel for every lie he tells we would be able to pay off the national debt.
4. Pretends he can speak "Mexican". If you sat through his convention speech you will know that he intends to (in one translation) "Leave no child without a makeover". "No dejaremos ningun nino atroz"?
5. Calls himself compassionate. No other governor has executed more people on death row than the W. His brother Jeb (the one who delivered Florida) is his only close second. As he said in an interview "Texas has never executed a guilty... I mean innocent person."
6. The idiot smirk. Every time he is on TV and manages to string more than four words in a coherent sentence he gets the same delighted look of a retarded child finishing the ABC song. He is not in special ed, the right insists, but he sure looks it.
7. Connecticut blue blood pretends to be Texan. He is well known for criticizing the establishment, but this son of a President is more establishment than any candidate previously in the history of the nation.
8. Will not take responsibility for his actions. When asked, during a rare Q&A with the press, to list one mistake of his administration, this master of the ad-lib could not come up with one. Luckily for him the next day thousands of newspaper articles were more than happy to refresh his memory and list the various and humongous failures of his administration. Should he be willing to let reporters ask him that question again, he now has an archive of failures to choose from.
9. Vacation whore. No other President in the history of the country has gone on more vacations than Shrubby. He is by far the most rested, least encumbered by the running of the nation, President we've ever had. I guess he learned early on in his career that the best way to make sure nothing goes wrong is to be out of town while the big boys made the decisions.
10. Almost whacked by a pretzel. How drunk do you have to be to get your ass kicked by a pretzel? I know, I know, his PR machine says he is now a dry-drunk. But, what is he doing all those months out in his ranch? My guess catching up on some drinking. Sure would explain why he keeps falling off his bike all the time.

Reprinted from Queens College Knight News:
http://www.qcknightnews.com/news/2004/09/20/
Opinion/Ten-Things.I.Hate.About.Bush-718592.shtml