Friday, December 30, 2005

Predictions for 2006 by Alan Chartock

Predictions for 2006 by Alan Chartock of WAMC

Here it is…a New Year and time for my fearless predictions. Remember the rules under which they're offered: I either want them to happen, or I don't want them to happen and am jinxing them, or I really, really think they MAY happen. It's up to the discerning reader to figure it out. Therefore, I predict that:

George Bush's popularity will fall to the lowest in the history of the American presidency.

A senior White House person will be indicted for lying to a grand jury. Defense Secretary Rumsfeld will resign, suggesting that his work has been accomplished. Members of the press corps will ask him whether he streamlined the Armed Forces the way he said he would. He will suggest that the adventure in Iraq has been resolved.

A major elected official will be implicated by someone for his part in the Valerie Plame affair and will plead nolo contendere in court.

David Galletly will shave his beard.

WAMC will provide yet another service for all those folks who want to hear NPR programs that are not available on our air. This will be part of our conversion to digital radio.

The people who read the station identifications will first identify themselves.

WAMC will announce a series of new grants from individuals who will just say, "All I want to do is to help MY radio station."

Three WAMC senior engineers will get will get married.

James Taylor will get really involved in politics.

A new radio show, "Me and Eliot," will debut on WAMC.

Jeanine Pirro will drop out.

Central Avenue in Albany will experience a renaissance making the Linda Norris Auditorium the "Go-to Place in the Capital Region." There will be lots of new parking.

WAMC will purchase a new station in the Pioneer Valley. Ditto Northwest Connecticut.

WAMC news will receive an unprecedented number of awards.

WAMC will collaborate with the Boston Symphony Orchestra, leading to record- breaking Friday night crowds at Tanglewood.

The National Press Club, ignominiously yanked off the air by National Public Radio, will find new life on public radio due to the efforts of WAMC.

Selma Kaplan will reunite with her band mates in a sold out concert of the "Rude Girls."

Ray and Nicole Graf will have a fourth child making their family health plan even more cost-effective. Ray will give something up for the New Year.

A WAMC board member's restaurant will receive a major culinary award.

A progressive Republican will announce for New York State Attorney General and immediately become the front runner.

WAMC's Jane Palmer, director of individual giving, will set the philanthropic community on its ear. She will be joined by grants director Marian Wise in collecting our thanks.

The WAMC newsroom will get a parrot of its own.

The WAMC Annex will get a cat to take on the you-know-who's.

News producer Katie Britton will get a dog of her own. It will like parrots.

Susan Arbetter and Joe Donahue will be courted by a national show and asked to leave WAMC. They will, of course, refuse, saying "Who would want a five million dollar salary when we can work here among the rodentia?"

The Media Project's Rex Smith and Lydia Kulbida will receive humongous raises in their day jobs. The program will not go to an hour.

A government hack will come after WAMC.

All WAMC listeners will have a happy and healthy new year.